Still can't find a theme

You would imagine with how many WordPress themes out there, there would be one that would fit my vision of this site perfectly (or close enough I can tweak it).

Nope. At least not yet.

I have never been much of a coder, which explains why I keep starting to work on a redesign and then just lose interest. Maybe I need to be locked into a room and the key thrown away until I get this done.